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Self Coaching

There are eight steps involved in learning how to manage or master your emotions.

It may take time to learn the process, but once you have mastered it you will have the confidence and peace of mind that comes from knowing that you can get to a successful outcome no matter what situation arises in your life. It will give you the confidence to tackle anything that life throws at you.

The eight step personal mastery process is shown in the following table. (Click on table to enlarge)

 Steps in Personal Mastery 
If another person is involved in a situation that is causing you anxiety, stress, upset or conflict, you will need to add three more steps as shown in the following table.

 Additional Steps

You begin the process as soon as you can after experiencing any form of upset, inner resistance or challenge.

There are many different levels of upset you can experience. They all involve emotions: in all cases you are dealing with an energetic imbalance that is compromising your internal stability, and therefore your ability to be happy. You are allowing fear to dominate your motivations rather than love.

The different levels of upset you can experience include resistance, anxiety, impatience, frustration, anger or rage.

You experience resistance when someone wants you to do something you don’t want to do, or has an idea that affects you in some way that is not in alignment with your idea. As soon as you experience resistance you feel out of alignment. The challenge you face after feeling resistance is to express what is on your mind without fear—without feeling that you are compromising your relationship with the person whose idea you are resisting. The truth of the matter is that you will be compromising your relationship if you do not express your thoughts and needs. 

You experience anxiety when you are holding onto fear-based beliefs about not being able to meet your deficiency needs. People with severe subconscious fear-based beliefs live in a constant state of anxiety. Anxiety is an underlying background state of upset that continues until you are able to master your subconscious fears. All other upsets are related situations (resistance, impatience, frustration, anger and rage).

You experience impatience when you are not able to get what you want, when you want it. If you can’t resolve this situation your impatience transforms into frustration.

You experience frustration—intense dissatisfaction—when you are finding it impossible to get your needs met. Whatever avenue you take, you feel blocked. Continual frustration builds up to anger and then rage.

You experience anger when you feel a sense of injustice or lack of fairness in the way you are being treated by others or in a situation that thwarts you in some way. When anger is ongoing it leads to belligerence. When you hold back your anger over a long period of time it may eventually surface as rage.

Rage is uncontrollable anger that has possessed your body and your mind. When you are in rage, you are out of control. The rage you feel is never about the situation or event you are experiencing: the situation or event is just the trigger that releases the unexpressed anger you have been storing up for years.

Wherever you are on the spectrum of upset—resistance to rage—you should follow the process of personal mastery.

The amount of time spent in releasing the energy of resistance will be much less than the amount of time spent in releasing the energy of rage.




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TNLP References

Chapter 9: Personal Mastery